How to Live With Kids

Teaching your children valuable life skills does make you a teacher but not one who needs a college degree. The qualifications you need are the ones you already have. You care about your kids and want to do right by them. When you have a degree from an institution of higher learning or no degree at all, you qualify for this job by virtue of having a child. All you need in order to be certified in parenting is a child and the desire to nurture the love of life and the love of learning. Parents teach by modeling appropriate behavior, or they teach by passing along knowledge and experience. Some parents mistakenly think that they're not qualified to teach their children anything because they aren't trained teachers. They think they can count on school to teach a child everything he or she needs to know. But education is not a requirement for good parenting. You are already your child's most important and most valuable teacher. You just need to realize that and to enjoy the job. Even some people who hold advanced degrees find teaching their children daunting and intimidating. But, truly this kind of teaching is just another part of parenting. And, it may be the best part.

Teaching your child about life isn't just something you do for your kid. Do it for yourself because it's rewarding. There's nothing wrong with wanting something for yourself out of the parenting job. Goodness knows it doesn't pay much else! But, when you teach your son or daughter about life, you do get paid. You'll learn more about patience and perseverance as you nurture those qualities in your child. You'll feel better about yourself as a person as you feel the success of competent parenting. As you watch your child grow and see the ways in which you are facilitating that growth, your ego is boosted, your sense of self blossoms, and, yes, your self-esteem grows along with that of your child. Couldn't we all, regardless of our age, use a boost in how we see ourselves and our place in the world?

The rewards are many when it comes to sharing your daily existence with your child but it doesn't have to be all that hard to make it happen. You may not realize how mundane experiences can be valuable learning opportunities. Think about something that you learned from your parents. It's likely that the lesson your parent taught you had more to do with a simple part of life than with an algebra lesson from a textbook. Did you learn how to fish or to change engine oil? Did you learn how to add air to the tires or how to make a bed neatly? Did you learn how to arrange flowers or how to settle an argument peacefully? Maybe you learned how to knit or how to cook or how to hang a picture. Want a great Mother's Day or Father's Day card for next year? Think about listing all of the things you learned from your parent and give it to the parent who helped you learn those things.

Among the most valuable things I learned from my mother was how to give a great massage, how to make spaghetti and meatballs, how not to let obstacles stand in my way, and how books are awesome companions. She taught me the joy of playing word games and how to listen to friends so that they know they matter to me. She passed along the value of patience. She taught me all of this and more and she never had a single college course. I learned simple life skills and so much more. The word games were fun but they also built a love of words and an impressive vocabulary. The love of language that grew out of her playing those games with me serves me well personally and professionally. Observing how she dealt with her chronic lifelong illness without complaining taught me how to deal with adversity, how to be mindful of my health habits and why every minute counts. Cooking spaghetti and meatballs taught me about measuring, about learning by trial and error and about good nutrition.

My father taught me how to play cards, how to drive, how to buy only what I can afford at time of purchase and how to make stuffed cabbage. He showed me the joy finding a great deal and a bargain. Playing cards with him taught me useful math skills, strategy and how to lose or win (usually lose) with equal grace and dignity. Learning how to buy only what I can afford, even when using a credit card has enabled me to keep my debts manageable while still owning what I need. My father was an extremely forgiving person. I am still working on learning that lesson better than I have so far. But, from both my parents I learned lessons that have proven more valuable than anything I ever learned in college.

Many years ago, there was a comedy routine that touted a complete college education in five minutes. After all, it said, you probably only remember about five minutes worth of what you learned in college. While that's true for me, I remember lots more of the things my parents taught me than anything I learned in school and those lessons have proven far more important and useful.